Jerome Powell Caught Whispering “Higher for Longer” to Potted Plant During Live CNBC Interview

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what sources are calling “deeply consistent with recent guidance,” Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell was caught on a hot mic whispering “higher for longer” to a potted ficus plant during a live CNBC segment.

The incident occurred during a routine interview where Powell fielded questions about inflation, stagnant housing, and the general vibe of economic despair. As the segment cut to commercial, the microphone stayed hot just long enough to capture Powell leaning toward the ficus and whispering, “Higher for longer… just the way you like it.”

The ficus, now identified by Fed insiders as Milton, is reportedly one of the few living things Powell trusts with real forward guidance.

The incident comes as the President continues publicly pressuring Powell, most recently taunting him on social media:

“Europe’s cut, Canada’s cut, Japan’s practically paying people to borrow... but our Fed Chair still thinks inflation is hiding in his closet. Unreal.”

Meanwhile, economic data continues to weaken: job openings are down, wage growth has cooled, and consumer debt is climbing like it’s 2006. Yet Powell remains completely unfazed.

“We’re watching the data closely,” Powell said in a follow-up statement. “And if I see even one shadow of core services inflation, we’re holding the damn line like it’s Valley Forge.”

When asked if he was concerned about slowing growth, Powell was direct.

“Our job isn’t to encourage economic development,” he said. “Frankly, that sounds a little reckless.”

At press time, Milton the plant was unavailable for comment, though insiders say he's leaning slightly dovish after being relocated closer to a window and hearing a podcast on modern monetary theory.

Sources also confirm Powell was later seen gently misting Milton while whispering, “We can’t cut now. They’ll think they’ve won.”